Is my child addicted to their device?
How out of hand have things gotten lately? Well, only 10 years ago, in 2016, 29% of teens had a smartphone, and now, in 2026, 95% do. A 2022 study reported that 46% of teens are “online constantly.” More than a third of young children in developed countries have their own smartphone or tablet. Another study revealed that children between 8 and 18 years spend an average of 10 hours a day on digital devices. Probably not surprisingly, many boys gravitate more to porn, you tube, and video games but girls ted to use more socially-oriented apps. As of today, the American Psychiatric Association does not recognize any internet addiction as a formal disorder aside from internet gaming disorder.
From a biological perspective, internet addiction does have a similar biochemistry to substance addictions. Social media becomes a high a reality becomes a low. Short-form videos are so appealing across all modes of social media and children experience time blindness when they are scrolling. In fact, some parents feel giving a child a phone can be as dangerous as providing them with alcohol or drugs. Social media provides continuous dopamine hits, which spike and crash and then lead to feeling demotivated and lethargic. Some also experience an “anticipatory dopamine spike” when they observe another person on their phone. Those adolescents who have been identified as “digitally addicted” were found to have impaired connectivity in the cerebellum, basal ganglia, striatum, caudate nucleus, and the frontal lobe (consistent with other profiles of addiction and sensation seekers as well as abnormal reward processing). Additionally, those with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and PTSD have biggest correlation with internet addiction, but this could be multidirectional in terms of neurobiology.
And, from an environmental and behavioral perspective, teenagers with internet additions tend to struggle with self-care, emotional regulation, independence, and self-reliance and tend to be more introversive and disinhibited (though not always). Many parents give in to requests for devices because they don’t want their children to be isolated from friends/plans with peers. Permissive parenting style was correlated with higher smartphone addiction scores in children. But, on the other hand, taking away screens as a consequence can backfire a further perpetuate the drive and desire for the phone.
Let’s talk about some of the dangers of social media that parents and really all of us should be privy to. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic causes increased reliance on technology/social media, because of immediate access of information/speed of result. Because the internet provides immediate gratification in terms of posts/video games, many experience difficulty accepting delayed gratification in “real life.” Social media presents an illusion of connectedness while inherently creating divides and further isolation, which is confounded by the for-profit business of big tech/social media. The ability to be anonymous can lead to increased bullying (e.g., sex shaming, gay bashing, appearance etc) with lack of remorse and reduced feelings of responsibility. Cyberbullying has been prominent on ask.fm and the NGL app and some explain it feels like the bullies are always there “in your home and bed.” Gossip can be indirect aggression for girls. On social media you can only present limited information about yourself and so the praise and criticism you receive is only based on that information, not your whole and true self. Unrealistic/enhanced selfies have been found to lead to reduced body image when viewed by young girls. Many girls (and some boys) feel jealous when they are not valued within the community; often time girls sit and talk about social media instead of “real life.”
Teens are often exposed to material they aren’t developmentally ready for without any explanation from trusted adult. The Netflix show Adolescence showed children’s vulnerability to manipulation and how the internet can easily change their thinking. An experimental audit comparing TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram revealed that accounts registered as 13-year-olds encountered harmful content more frequently and rapidly than older users. Young girls are fed videos/ads to promote weight loss (e.g., “corpse bride” diet or “water-only” diet). Many videos about binge eating and/or restrictive eating have been presented as well, reinforcing eating disorders and competing with others to lose weight. Social media can also promote cutting and suicide attempts. Suicide attempt material and methods for self-harming on teenagers have been found on many teens Tik Tok algorithm (e.g., FYP). Both social media and video games can easily promote extremism, idealism, violence, etc. Going live can be dangerous because things transpire before they are able to be regulated, it can normalize violence or gruesome content, and people will even sometimes encourage harm or harm themself on a live. Increased social media use also results in social and sleep deprivation. There is a consistent link between heavy social media use and mental illness (somewhat more so in girls). Girls who spend more than 5 hours a day on social media are 3x more likely to experience depression. Social media promotes black/white thinking as opposed to critical thinking in addition to impulsivity/emotional reactivity.
I think its important for me to highlight some of the most dangerous tik tok challenges so parents can be aware of what seemingly harmless “games” their children can so easily become involved with. In 2022, the #labellochallenge was goin around Europe where adolescents were to remove a piece of their labello lip balm when they were sad and if it became empty they were to self-harm. There was the #a4waistchallenge where girls would show that their waist was less than the width of a vertical piece of a4 paper. #nyquilchicken challenge went viral, as kids were cooking chicken with excessive amounts of NyQuil to try to hallucinate. There was also the #blackoutchallenge or #chokinggame, in which kids were cutting off oxygen until they pass out, which can cause brain damage or death, and has actually caused several deaths and injuries. And more recently, the #benadrylchallenge where kids are encouraged to take high doses of Benadryl until they begin to hallucinate. As a result, one teen from Oklahoma overdosed on Benadryl and passed away and 3 others were hospitalized. Also more recently, #needohchallenge, in which kids were microwaving gel-filled squishy toys (like needoh) causing explosions and burns, and as a result there at least 2 children with second-degree burns. And finally two more recent trends that resulted in significant media attention. One being a couch surfing challenge, after which a 15 year old boy in Utah is permanently brain injured and paralyzed after laying down on a coach as it was pulled by a vehicle and at least 3 others who ended up in hospitals as a result of this trend. Finally, the BORG challenge, which stands for black-out rage gallon, in which kids are creating customized alcoholic cocktails (generally liquor) in a gallon jug with flavors and caffeine supplements mixed in and then they label the jug with some kind of pun that matches the recipe (e.g., Borg-er-line alcoholic). The intent is for the person to consume the entire contents in one session, well in excess of recommended limits resulting in several hospitalizations. This trend spread rapidly at beginning of 2023 but it has since continued, and has been hard to regulate on social media.
There have also been some inappropriate and pro-violence games on the Internet. For example, Five Nights at Epstein’s- a spinoff of Five Nights at Freddys (a video game). The players pretend to be sexual assault victims trapped on the island and in order to win they have to escape Epstein’s island for 5 nights to avoid further sexual assault. Children were playing at school on their Chromebooks and there were videos circulating teaching other kids how to play and how to bypass the blocking tools (VPNs and proxies) on their devices. It appeared to be a “whack-a-mole” approach on the part of the school and parents, because the children always come up with something new. There was also a group called Active Shooter Studios (or ASS) on Roblox who created maps based upon real-life school or mass shootings, replicating Columbine, Sandy Hook , and Uvalde, as well as other extremist attacks. The violence is normalized and celebrated by the players. The players are meant to “play dead” and the shooter can alter their avatar to resemble their desired assailant and either commit suicide or be killed by police. The creators are also able to host games on private paid Roblox servers and discuss on associated private discord server. Even when the platforms act quickly, these groups find a way around it. Additionally, Roblox and other video games can be a “pedophiles playground”, child exploitation and child trafficking, especially with 35% of Roblox users being 12 and under.
Let’s talk a bit about how the internet and screen time can affect child development. In present day, a large part of social-emotional development occurs via social media for gen z and gen alpha. Per the research, it appears the most adverse effects were present when a child receives a smartphone prior to puberty age. The time of identify development is the same time many children receive a phone. Those 11 to 17 are most vulnerable to misinformation and trends/challenges on Tik Tok. Not surprisingly, AI further warps the perception of reality. Accessing screens out of boredom can be dangerous for the brain in terms of emotional regulation. Attentional and emotional systems can become overwhelmed and stressed by the amount of information online, which can affect development. Excessive screen use has been linked to poor academic performance, low sleep quality, attention problems, and decreased psychological well-being.In fact, children ages 6-10 who had a screen exposure time of 2 hours or more had a higher potential for screen addiction later on as well as attention problems. There is also some correlational research showing that for those 8 and under who watch 2+ hours per day can affect sleep, language development, and executive functioning, but there are many confounding variables and depends on content and child’s profile, as screen time can also be educational, enjoyable, and purposeful. Digital connections have been shown to not be fulfilling in the same way as real attachments and as a result, the brain receives less oxytocin (social connection hormone). Reduced deep connection to family and community/peers results in a lack of a small safe bubble and feeling as though you are competing against the whole world. Because much of the behavior on social media is driven by attachment and assurance, children can lose their uniqueness and engage in groupthink (thinking the same as everyone else) on social media. Social comparison results in reduced self-evaluation, as many children come to believe that body image is equivalent to social value. Social media has been shown to promotes attention-seeking behavior, as many children want to fit in or be perceived as interesting. Those with lower self-esteem and low confidence have been found to be more susceptible to emotional reactivity because of lack of likes/engagement on social media, tying it to their self-worth. Additionally, children who spend significant time on smartphones may experience difficulties in social interactions, including challenges in communication, empathy, and cooperation as well as reduced critical thinking and creativity.
Being that we have known about at least some of the dangers of the internet, why have things seemingly continued to spiral in the wrong direction? In short, part of the difficulty lies with the constant advancement and monetization of technology- and the other lies with the difficulty of knowing what to do as parents and not having enough information or support. Tik tok has reportedly made efforts to install filters and provide parental controls but more regulations and education to parents and clinicians are required to be effective. That being said, Meta was recently sued and held accountable for knowingly designing and deploying harmful features on instagram and social media to addict youth. In terms of parents attempting to take control of devices, there is absolutely no easy answer. Some parents feel removing screens/devices makes them a “bad thing” and doesn’t allow child to develop self-control independently. Some see screen time access as a “picking their battles” situation, but don’t always necessarily understand the dangers. It is also difficult to remove all devices when some are required for school or other activities and especially when both parents don’t agree on rules/limits. Many children also had secret/fake social media accounts and were able to hack into the wifi or devices even with parents, controls. Parents describe taking away devices and children “searching all over like an addict looking for their next fix.” Some parents reported their children became aggressive when device taken away when they were never aggressive before. Some parents described trying to take away devices and did not know their children found to devices or had secret devices they weren’t aware of. So as you can see, even with the best of intentions, it is a hard thing to solve for because the addiction is so strong. So, although there are not necessarily easy answers or a “right” thing to do, it depends on the child and the situation. That being said, here are some things to consider. Its important for children to feel nurtured and fulfilled before trying to find their self worth on the internet. As a result, many parents have committed to the “Wait until 8th” movement. Supervision of your children’s internet use can make a big difference in outcomes in terms of safety and mental health. Remember that there is a strong association between parents’ screen use and children’s screen use. It can be a good idea to set rules for the whole family like no phones at meals, placing phones in a basket when the children get home from school or at night time- but this doesn’t work for everyone. It may also be helpful to set time limits/alarms to develop awareness, or setting rules like “you must spend time outside prior to spending time on a screen.” Some children benefit from “phone-fasting” for periods of time to restore normal dopamine levels. There are new apps and programs (e.g., Qustodio, Bark, Aura, mSpy) that allow parents to check browsing history and control wifi use more specifically. The relationship parents/caregivers have with their kids trumps any rules/strategies you may use. Children need to feel secure in order to be vulnerable with others. Remember there is more of a benefit from a physical voice/connection as opposed to texting and more understanding connection. Research shows that open communication was best predictor of a child agreeing to rules set.